He wanted her too, there was no doubt. What she could not trust were his intentions upon her. Could this stately, elegant leader of the peers be asking her to wife? Socially she was his equal and could very well marry him if only she could trust he truly was offering her marriage. It was a sad truth she had long since faced, men of the ton were more likely to offer her the slip than anything honourable.
How wonderful it would be though if a gentleman like him would value her despite her unfortunate circumstances. That however was rather unlikely, not this early.
Taking a deep breath she supressed the troubling feelings he aroused in her and broke eye contact. He was just too handsome! She had known other handsome men, her brothers were just as well favoured, but something about lord Camden made her so concious that she was a woman.
He sat down on a side chair besides her sofa, a respectable distance should anyone chance upon them. Though their being alone was scandalous enough even without her history. It always came down to her history, she thought sadly, the reason why he could not be proposing marriage and many other things.
He leaned foward, his eyes ernest upon hers she could not look away. Her breath caught, her heart raced as they became all there was to her world. Their depths entranced her, snuffed reason and awakened deep longing at the core of her being. How could she doubt him when he looked at her like that? Touching the tender places in her soul that had long been left wanting. Moreso how could she refuse him anything? His lazy gaze slumbered with sensuality and instead of shying away from it she was drawn. If only she was indifferent to him! He was all her schoolgirl fantasies had yearned for. When he spoke, his voice washed over her raw nerves like a warm breeze. What was wrong with her?
"Lady Armheast, you must be aware how lovely you are and as a sister to a duke you are my equal. No one would fault me if we were to wed" he reasoned.
Caroline lowered her eyes "The ton would fault you for taking a wife who is known to have barely a penny to her name when there are those about with veritable fortunes"
"I am not a fortune hunter my lady" he stated his voice a bit stiff. "I do not care that you are dowerless, you are a lovely woman of good character and I find you most suitable. You are also intelligent and caring, I would be honoured to have you"
"You would be more honoured to have a wife with an untainted name" she said, eyes downcast.
He took her hand in his, "Caroline," her name was a longing breath upon his lips, she closed her eyes at the aching sweetness of it "You were not at fault, merely an innocent child who was a victim. Do not think for a moment that I could fault you for that"
She could not keep the tears back. How she had longed for someone who felt as he did, valued her still. It was one thing to dream and another to face the reality though. How could she have known she would be this scared? That she who had faced the world with a brave face and cheery heart would be afraid to take the dream reality offered? Had she buried her dream so deep she had no strength for the reality?
It was all so confusing. She had no way of knowing if it was all for a wager. How could she trust her judgement again where men were concerned? She got up to put some distance between them knowing she would not be able to refuse him if he kept on looking at her like she truly was the answer to his prayers.
" 'Tis generous of you to think so well of me, my lord, but pray do not distress me further with this. You deserve a virginal bride and I am not that"
He came up to her, took her gloved hands in his even as she was reluctant to have him do so. Tenderly he wiped her tears away, his face so gentle her tears flowed even more.
Her heart ached, a lump lodging upon her throat, her body trembled with reaction, confusion raking her mind as her blood flamed. His touch was sublime, reverent, a lover's touch, fulfilling despite its fleeting nature. As desire melted her body she turned despairing eyes to him, he should not have such a hold over her, a simple touch should not pierce her defenses like this. She had always thought them so substantial, unbreachable and yet here she was behaving like an abandoned jade.
"My lord, please" she begged.
"I deserve the lady that I want," he replied to her earlier statement. "A spirited yet gentle companion sharing in some of my intrests and capable of understanding my motivations. I believe you are that lady. I shall not distress you with my intentions again but rest assured I shall not consider any other lady. If you are still of the same mind pray let me know by the end of our voyage"
He bowed over her hand then left.
Unsettled, disbelieving she sat back down, her mind a whirling mass of confusion.
She could have had her pick of the American gentry had she not yearned for a British gentleman even as she had doubted she could have one.
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